How To Talk To Anyone: 15 Little Tricks To Success In Relationships
Talking to
people have a tremendous power to attract or repel. And learning the right way
to talk to people can benefit us and increase the quality of our lives. It can
make people fall in love with you, it can make bosses hire you, and it keeps
clients coming back to you.
Below are some
practical techniques that you can use every day so you can talk to anyone and
get whatever you want in life.
#1. Smile, but
not too fast.
A big, warm smile
is an asset, when it comes a little slower. Those who are slower to smile when
meeting people are perceived as more credible especially in corporate life. In
fact a slower appears more sincere and personalized for the recipient. It makes
them feel that the smile was special and just for them. The right way to do it
is to look at the person’s face for a second. Pause. And then let your big,
warm smile flood over your face.
Maintaining a
good eye contact can awaken feelings of respect and affection in the recipient.
It can also make you look like an intelligent thinker. Keep good eye contact even
when the person has finished speaking. When you must look away, do it slowly
and reluctantly.
If the person
you’re interested in, isn’t the one who’s talking, watch the speaker, but let
your glance bounces to your target once the speaker finished a point. This way
your target will feel you are intrigued by their reaction without feeling
intimidated.
#3. Have the posture of a big winner.
Big winners have
the sort of glow one gets when a big jolt of happiness hits his heart. Only big
winners have that kind of look constantly. They hold their head high, they
stand with assurance, walk with confidence and smile softly. This posture
communicates success to anyone who comes their way.
#4. Give your
undivided attention.
“People don’t
care how much you know until they know how much you care . . . about them.” -
Zig Ziglar
The instant you
are introduced to someone or you meet someone, give them a warm smile and an
undivided attention. This makes the person feel very special.
A trick to help
you give the person the attention he’s seeking, would be to imagine he was a
good old friend of yours whom you haven’t seen in years and suddenly after all
those years, the two of you are reunited.
#5. Limit the
fidgeting.
When you’re
trying to attract the person you’re conversing with, limit your fidgeting. Let
your nose itch and your ear tingle. Hand motions near your face and fidgeting
can give the other person the feeling that you’re not credible.
Visualize the confident person, you want to be ahead of time. See yourself
walking around with a confident posture, shaking hands and smiling warmly to
people. Hear yourself chatting comfortably with these people and feel the
pleasure of knowing that you’ve made a good impression on them. If you can see
yourself doing all that, you can definitely do it.
#7. Match their
mood.
This is
especially essential when having a small talk with someone. Detect your
listener’s state of mind and match his mood. If he’s tired and starts to go
about how long the day was, match his mood and tone of voice, if only for a
moment. This helps them feel that they’re okay and that the two of you are
similar and thus bring you both together.
#8. Find out
their interests.
If someone
brought up plants, then she might have a relationship with them. Ask her more
about it. People love to talk about themselves and what interests them, and
there’s no better way to start a conversation with someone than to ask him
about what interests him.
#9. Accentuate
the positive.
When meeting
someone for the first time, make sure you accentuate everything positive about
you. Some people might feel compelled to share some secret or reveal an
intimacy in order to show their listener that their human beings too. It might
work and get you both closer in some cases, but for the majority of cases, it’s
best to leave these secrets for later in the relationship.
One of the best ways to always find something interesting to say is to
check the latest news. Turn on the radio news and scan your newspaper. Being up
to date with the latest news can also save you from asking what everyone is
talking about.
#11. Don’t ask
“what do you do?”.
The question
“what do you do?” can throw people off guard. Some people don’t have a cool
job, some women have chosen to devote themselves to motherhood and such a question might make them feel guilty. On the other hand, not asking the
question will convince your listener that you’re enjoying their company for who
they are and not for any networking reason. So instead, you can ask simply ask
them “How do you spend most of your time?”
#12. "You" is a
powerful word.
When we were
infants, we thought we were the center of the universe. Nothing mattered but
us. We didn’t change since then, and we’re still translating everything in
terms of “How does that affect ME?”.
So when you want
to compliment someone, instead of saying “that dress looks great on you.”, try saying “You look great in that dress” phrasing it that way, the person will feel great
about themselves.
#13. Find out what
the hot issues in their fields.
Every industry
has issues and interests the outside world knows little about. So before
conversing with a doctor, try to find out what hot issues are in their field. Asking
a doctor about their specialty and their affiliations and relationships with
their hospitals will definitely make you sound insightful and encourage your
listener to talk more about themselves and open up to you.
A great way to
find out what hot issues are in a certain field, is to ask a friend of yours
who’s in that field.
#14. Echoing.
Using the same
choice of words as your listener creates an instant rapport that can bring a
sense of warmth and closeness and make your listener open up to you. In fact,
using the same words to describe something makes them feel you share their
interests and experiences.
#15. Compliment
them behind their backs.
Everyone loves
receiving a compliment. However, giving an out of the blue compliment,
face-to-face, might make the recipient assume that there’s something behind it
other than being a genuine compliment. This is why praising people behind their
backs, in front of someone who is close to the person you wish to compliment
and who’s likely to report it back to him, is a great way to spark the interest
of your desired person.
Pint it!
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