How To Keep The Score Even In A Relationship

Men think that when they do something big for their women like buying her a new car or taking her on a vacation, they’re scoring higher than doing the small things, like giving her a hug, complimenting her or buying her a flower. Thus, they’re focusing their energy and time to do one or two big things. Men believe that by doing something small for their partner, they’re scoring one point and by doing something large, they’re scoring 30 points. Unfortunately, women keep score differently, no matter the size of the gift, small or big, the score is always one point for each deed or gift. Without understanding the difference in score keeping, men and women are continually frustrated and overwhelmed in their relationships.

When a man becomes successful and his career demands more of his time and energy, he’ll be eventually giving less and less to his relationship. From the woman’s point of view, her man is giving less, and she now had to take care of more things in their house and lives. She believes she’s doing more than he does and she grows increasingly unhappy and resentful. From the man’s point of view, he’s scoring more because the pay of his work is now much bigger. For him the score is even, he’s satisfied with the new situation except for one thing, his woman isn’t happy so he blames her for needing too much which makes her even angrier.

Women, here’s what you need to learn:

1- In order to continue giving for his woman, a man needs to be appreciated. He needs to know that he’s being useful and that what he’s doing is making a difference. With a little smile or a “thank you”, a woman can let her man know that she appreciates what he’s doing for her and that he has scored a point. It is a great encouragement for a man to know that he’s not taken for granted and that his efforts are being appreciated.

2- A woman needs to accept her man’s tendencies to focus his energy and time on his work more than his relationship, it is not a sign that he doesn’t love her or care for her, but rather understand that he is focused on doing the big things. Through accepting this, she can work, more effectively, on letting her man know how much she appreciates the little things as well. She can help him to give her more by directly requesting things to do for her and encouraging him to do more by giving him the appreciation he needs.

3- Men strive for success because they’re craving to feel loved, they want to feel worthy of the love of their women. By appreciating the little things your man does, you can make him feel loved and his addiction for success will ease off.

- Appreciated or not, women keep giving to their men. They don’t keep score like the men do, they give freely and openly and expect for their men to do the same. After some time, they begin to feel resentful. Because of this resentment, they stop giving their men the love they need and men, on the other hand, will grow resentful as well. The solution for this problem is for women to take responsibility for having contributed to her problems by giving too much and not giving the chance for their men to give as much. A woman, when the score becomes uneven, needs to take a rest and let her man take care of her more.

4- When a woman feels resentful, she tends to reject the support of her man, even though that’s the most thing she’s craving for. She tends to negate the value of his efforts and his score gets as high as a zero. By taking responsibility for her problem, she can stop blaming him, start a new score recording and give him the chance to give her more.

5- Don’t wait until the score is greatly uneven to ask him, but also don’t demand his support. Trust that he wants to support you even if he needs little encouragement.

6- Men give points differently, they care more about feelings than deeds. When you do something for him with a smile, they give you higher points than when you do it without a smile if they gave any points in the latter case at all.

7- Just like the ability of women to give love fluctuates, men’s needs for love fluctuates as well. The more they need their women’s love, the higher the points will be. If for example, a man has made a mistake, it’s then when he needs his woman’s support most. If she doesn’t blame him or disapprove of him and instead accept him and support him, he will then give her more points. If on the other hand, she doesn’t respond y being support at his moments of vulnerability, he might even give her penalty points.

Men, here’s what you need to learn:

1- Your work, be it successful or not, is only scoring one point.

2- The little things you do for your woman scores as much as the big things.

3- By being more understanding for his woman’s resentment, a man can start giving her more without feeling hurt when being rejected or when his efforts aren’t as appreciated as he thinks he needs and deserves. When a man takes his responsibility for contributing to his woman’s resentment by neglecting to do the little things for her, it can much easier for him to understand that he needs to give more before she can be able to give again.

Ways to score points with a woman:

There are many ways to score points with a woman a lot of men know about, but don’t realize how important they are for a woman.

1- Kiss her and hug her before going to work and when getting home.

2- Ask her about her day and listen to her with empathy.

3- Buy her flowers as a surprise as well as on special occasions.

4- Plan a surprise date rather than asking her what she wants to do on a Friday night.

5- Offer to make dinner or help her with a chore when she is tired.

6- If she looks or smells good, tell her.

7- When you’re going to be late, call her and let her know.

8- When she needs to talk to you, offer her an undivided attention, turn off the TV and put down the paper.

9- If she asked you to fix something around the house, fix, don’t postpone it any longer.

10- Hold her hand in public

11- When leaving, ask her if she needs you to pick up something at the store and remember to pick it up.

12- Call her from work and tell her “I love you” or “I miss you”.

13- Share house chores with her and always do your part.

14- Clean your car before a date with her.

15- Offer to give her a massage.

16- Be understanding when she needs extra time to dress up.

17- Take pictures for her on special occasions.

18- Ask for her picture to carry t in your wallet.

19- Write her a note of love on special occasions.

20- Keep the bathroom floor clean and dry after taking a shower.

21- Open the door for her.

22- Offer to carry heavy stuff for her around the house.

23- When on vacation, take responsibility to load and unload the luggage.

24- Compliment her cooking.

25- Offer her a list of “to fix” and “grocery to buy” in the kitchen and do it whenever you can.

26- If she’s tired, offer her some tea.

27- Don’t answer the phone at intimate moments.

Through doing the little things, both the man and woman are to benefit. The woman is more fulfilled and satisfied because she’s getting the care she needs, and the man will feel more effective and powerful.

If anything, working less, for a man, in order to devote more time for his woman, is proven by many who had tried it, to make them even more successful, it’s because their woman became happier with the changes, that they also became much happier and comfortable in their relationships and in their lives. When a man has a balanced relationship, he then will be able to perform better in his work. He’s more confident and more productive.

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