It sounds great to be in love, to have someone there for you to take care of you, someone who can make you happy, someone you makes you feel like you're the luckiest. Well, reality doesn't often look like that while you should love fully, a man shouldn't be your greatest ambition.
I used to think that I'm sad and that my life isn't complete, that I need a partner to feel complete and happy. I got the partner, but I never got happy, not that true happiness at least. Being with him feels good, but him being in my life made me sad, real sad, I got sleeping troubles and lost a lot of weight, which doesn't sound good because it wasn't healthy at all!
When I finally got to break up, I thought that I'll have to look for someone else, anyone, which I got just the very next day, only to feel how useless it is to be with someone you don't love, just for the company!So I decided that I don't want to get involved in another relationship until I fall in love! In the meanwhile, I got to know myself better, to find myself actually. I got to deiced for my future, without considering anyone in it! I was completely free. I got to do all the things I love. When I go back home after work, the world would be mine. I do whatever I wanted, no one is asking me what I'm doing now, and I'm not thinking about what anyone is doing! It was just me, myself and I.
It feels good to know that you're independent, happy! so happy in fact. I now have no one to bring stress into my life! I'm not saying that relationships are bad, I do believe that we need it. But only after knowing yourself well, being happy alone and fully independent! Below are some things to remind yourself with if you're single:
1- Your strength, your happiness doesn't require a man, you can be happy on your own, without anybody's help.
2- It's better to be alone and happy than to be in a relationship and miserable, no one wants to feel lonely but sometimes being alone is better than breaking your own heart
it's like being in a relationship where it doesn't feel like you're in a relationship.
3- After a relationship, it only lasts the moments, and for me it was those moments, I mostly felt my partner close, when I felt his love and care, and most of all the feelings I felt for him, to be able to love deeply is a blessing, no matter how hard the hurt would be, it shall all pass and only those sweet memories will last. No matter how was your partner! it's something that has nothing to do with him. My partner is a past that ain't no back to, but those feelings became a part of me, a part that I'm proud of! You won't miss the person, you miss moments, but when people change, you can't live these moments anymore!
4- As much as some things are useless and our rational part does think so, the hope that the "what if" gives even if it was a fake one can make us accept being drowned into our dreams just to feel that bit of hope. When you break up, you would wonder what if a lot, imagine what it would be like if you stayed together, what if you could sort it out, what if he changes, what if things changes. it's not that you shouldn't think this way, but you have to know that it's normal, and that thinking so doesn't mean that it can be real or that going back would be a good idea!
5- While you shouldn't care because it's not like you still love him or anything, seeing them moving on with someone else might make you feel like a failure, like you've been rejected again, like you've been easily replaced, as if it meant nothing to him everything you've shared before. Well, it's a normal thing to feel so, just don't let it hold you down, be cool with it, it's what you want for yourself isn't it! to move on and fall in love again, so you might as well wish the best for him and move on yourself.
6- Often most of our relationships complications comes from our own complications, our insecurities and vulnerabilities. Most of the time it's just us wanting to feel loved and cared about, even after a breakup, we don't really feel jealous when someone else takes our place, we just don't like to feel like we've been replaced and forgot easily. It's high time you let go, remind yourself that he deserves a better start as much as you do, thus give him a chance and give yourself a chance too.
7- You sill can be single and happy, a healthy, true happiness, a happiness that doesn't depend on someone else, a happiness that came from within you and that you created yourself, but that doesn't mean that when you're all by yourself in the quiet night, you won't wish that you weren't alone and that you had someone to love, to think about, too talk to and to be with. It's okay to feel that way though.
Sitting here wondering if he ever thought about me, if he'll ever realize that he loves me, though I know that I'm fooling myself thinking that way, at the end, it was just this need to feel desired and important, too important to be left behind that easy.
But as much as I'm hurt, I'm still holding on the hope that there would be someday, someone for me, someone I can lean on because at some point I know that I'm a human being and I get tired, this energy I'm living at my youth won't last. Someday I won't be feeling this excited and full of energy. Someday I'll be slowing down, I'll be needing someone to be with, because I don't want to end up alone.
I know that it felt right even though it was wrong, but trust me someday it will feel right and it will be right!
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