6 Easy Ways To Develop A Lifestyle Of Giving And Generosity
Many people,
especially when it comes to relationships, see themselves as givers. They
provide for the house, raise the kids, prepare the meals…
However, many of them
don’t know how to give. In fact, they’re merely exchanging favors; “You do this
for me” and “I’ll do that for you”.
Very few people genuinely give away without
expecting something in return. And while nothing is wrong about getting back,
if everything you give is about getting, you’re likely going to lead a fearful
life.
You’ll be always
questioning, “Am I getting enough back?”.
This type of thinking creates
feelings of anger and resentment when you feel shortchanged.
“Love is
generally confused with dependence; but in point of fact, you can love only in
proportion to your capacity for independence.” - Rollo May - Man’s Search for
Himself
Genuine giving
is not just altruistic, it also makes you feel better. Learning how to give
takes a great deal of practice to achieve. You also need to be independent to
be able to give. In fact, we came to this world totally dependent on our
parents for survival. As we grow up we learn how to take care of ourselves.
Yet, many people never learn how to be independent and give to others. They
remain frightened that no one will come to relieve their hanger for money,
love, praise, and so on.
With an approach
of neediness, we have little to give. If we can’t love ourselves, how much love
can we give to others? We become helpless, unfulfilled and most of all
frightened. Frightened we might lose someone we’re dependent on for our
survival. And in general, unless we get something back, we feel used.
The truth is,
when we give from a place of love, rather than from a place of expectation,
usually, more will come back to us that we could imagine. Below are things to
start giving:
1. Give away thanks.
Start by
thanking the people presently in your life. Grab a paper and write down all the
contributions each one of them made to you. Whether they brought you pleasure or
caused you pain, every contribution is a win if you’ve learned something from
it. Thank these people the next time you meet them or write them a note or an
email.
For those who
caused you pain, sit down on a comfortable chair, close your eyes and visualize
them in front of you. Tell them that you wish them all the good. Thank them for
the experiences and lessons they have given you. Keep doing this until you feel
the negative emotions leaving. Keep in mind that you’re doing this, firstly,
for yourself. When you remain angry at someone else, you’re only hurting
yourself.
2. Give away information.
We go through
hardships and challenges to learn. And for some reason, it doesn’t seem fair to
give others help and save them the struggle. However, challenges in life, don’t
just teach a lesson, it changes you and helps you grow as a person, something
you can’t do it for anyone else. Giving information away is especially
beneficial to you. Your contribution in this life will be greatly magnified and
you usually get help back, even if it wasn’t from those you helped.
3. Give away praise.
We usually find
it difficult to praise the ones closest to us, even though they deserve it more
than anyone else.
Praising the
people in our lives, not only strengthen the relationship but also help you
release the negative, such as any anger or resentment toward that person, and
opens up the door for love.
4. Give away time.
Time is one of
our precious resources. We never seem to have enough of it. This makes it one
of the most precious gifts. You can give away your time by listening to a
friend’s problem, volunteering, reading a book to a child, offering to babysit
or pet-sit... giving your time away can help take you out of your problems and
make you a more loving and nurturing person. Keep in mind that what you’re
doing counts and is going to make a difference.
5. Give away money.
Money can be a
huge confrontation for most of us. And no matter how secure and wealthy we
become, fear about money often persists. In fact, security is not having money,
it’s realizing you can do without it. This is why one of the best antidotes to
money-related fears, is to let go of money. And this is why giving money away
can make you feel richer. It can set you free to enjoy and to invest in
yourself and others. This doesn’t mean to away all of your money and finds
yourself broke-balance is the key.
6. Give away love.
The "give aways" mentioned above is a form of love. However, love can take many other forms
such as accepting someone the way he is, trusting someone or allowing someone
to learn and grow without feeling frightened we might not approve of the
change.
Reminding
yourself that you count, will enhance your ability to give. And like any other
skill, giving is going to take practice. You need to acknowledge that you’re
life is already abundant. Only when you’re aware that you have, that you can
freely give away. Look for blessings around you and start writing them every
day in your journal.
“This is the
true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a
mighty one, the being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod
of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to
making me happy.
I am of the
opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and, as long as I live, it
is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up
when I die, for the harder I work the more I live.
I rejoice in
life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid
torch which I’ve got to hold up for the moment and I want to make it burn as
brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.” - George
Bernard Shaw
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