10 Things You Need to Know As a Grown-Up

by - January 05, 2016








The more we learn about life and ourselves, the easier our lives get. Below is a list of things you need to know as a grown-up that might seem obvious to you, yet a lot keep forgetting it:




1. Everyone has problems, not just you:

We all go through ups and downs in our lives. Sometimes it’s the circumstances, sometimes it’s just us receiving the outcomes of some bad choices we’ve made. Either way, something for sure, is that everyone has problems and not just you. That doesn’t mean that your problem is less important or that you shouldn’t feel bad, it just means that you’re not special. Realizing that will make it easier for you to feel less entitled to receive special treatment and thus will push you to solve your problems instead of victimizing yourself.


2. You are choosing:


We might not choose what happens to us, but we always control the way we interpret what happens to us and how we respond to it. The same event might be perceived as a good or a bad experience depending on your values. Whether we’re conscious about it or not, we’re always taking an active role in what happens to us, even when you don’t think about it, you’re actually choosing to avoid it.

The question is what are the values that you’re choosing to base your actions on? When you get angry, choosing non-violence as a response is a good value.



3. You’re your greatest enemy:

Most of the time you’re the only one to blame for your falls. The truth is, we make mistakes all the time and it’s hard to admit that, but it’s easy to put the blame on someone else. Now that might make you feel better about yourself for a while, but it won’t get you anywhere. Admitting your mistakes and learning from them is what will get you to succeed and be a better person. At the end of the day or the week, try to go back to the events and see what went wrong and what you can do to make things better. That doesn’t mean that you’ll have to be hard on yourself, quite the opposite, one must know that it’s inevitable to make mistakes and that everyone is bound to make mistakes, but most importantly, one should learn from his mistakes if he wants to be a better person.



4. To be responsible for your problem isn’t to be at fault for them:


There are lots of things that had been chosen for you and that you’re not at fault for them. Like the family you have and yet you need to take responsibility for them, not because it was your fault but because you choose to let those circumstances empower you instead of victimizing yourself.

Taking responsibility means that you’re choosing how to see things and how to react to them. For that no one should be blamed for your situation but you. Your situation is your responsibility and no one else’s. The fault might be someone else’s but not the responsibility. Only you can fix things, make it better and most importantly learn and grow as a person.


5. Emotions Are Overrated:


One shouldn’t take a decision just because it feels right to him. You can’t break something just because you feel angry. Emotions are there to help us evolve and live better. It’s a feedback to tell you that something is likely right or wrong. When you feel sad, your brain is telling you that something is wrong and that you should do something about it. That’s why one shouldn’t suppress his negative emotions because facing those emotions is the first step to change something and make life better.



6. An experience is judged based on the long-term effect:

An experience can make you feel good or bad at the moment and we tend to judge it as a positive or a negative one based on that feeling. The truth is, some of the most difficult experiences in your life turn out to be the most influencing and motivating as some of the most pleasing experiences end up to be distractive. What an experience isn’t qualified as negative or positive until you consider the long-term effect it made on you.



7. The difference between a healthy and unhealthy relationship:

An unhealthy relationship is when the two people are making each other an escape from their own problems. In other words, both people aren’t willing to take responsibility for their own problems and aren’t setting boundaries for the other one, meaning not only do they avoid their responsibility but also they’re taking responsibility for their partner’s problems or they’re victimizing themselves and expecting the other person to take their own responsibility. They feel entitled. If he/she has insecurities issues and is being too jealous, the other person blames himself for provoking this jealousy. On the other hand, a healthy relationship is when the two people are well aware of their problems and are addressing them with each other’s support. In other words, both people are taking responsibility for their problems and are setting clear boundaries based on each other’s values. This doesn’t mean that you can support your partner or be supported yourself, but if you do it it would be because you chose to and not because you feel entitled or obligated.



8. Commitment can make us more satisfied than freedom:

We are often happier with much less because when having lots of options and choices we not only feel overwhelmed but we keep thinking what if I chose the other thing and we’re never satisfied with the choice we’ve made. It goes for everything in life not only relationships. So committed relationship, not only saves you from this paradox of choice and eliminate any fear of missing out but also allows you to experience things you couldn’t experience with flings.



9. Resentment always hurts you more than it does the person you resent:


A lot of people hold on to their hate and keep rehearsing it in their minds instead of freeing themselves through forgiveness. Now forgiveness might seem quite hard and unfair especially when you’re hurt, but what you should know is that by forgiving you’re not doing them a favor, but rather you’re doing yourself the favor. To be able to forgive, one should understand human nature and what is driving that person that made him do what he had done. Humans are self-centered by nature, and altruism is an exception. The ones that hurt you might have been hurt themselves a greater deal.



10. Those who follow the crowd usually get lost in it:

A lot live by approval and the fear of what others will think of them. They allow others to control the way they live their lives, what job they’ll be doing, what partner to marry… the thing is whether you’ve got the approval or not, that won’t change anything, you might feel pleased about yourself for a while, but that’s all to it, in the end, you’ll find yourself void from passion.

Whatever you’re doing, of it’s the right thing, then what others think doesn’t matter.









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