10 Things You Can Do To Be a Better Person Starting Right Now

We're not perfect and we would never be, but we still can improve constantly! and that's what you should aim for, to wake up every day a better. Below are some secrets to help you to improve yourself, it might seem obvious and simple but there's not really any big secrets to be a better person other than those small choices you make one at a time, and as much as it seems simple and easy as much as it can make a huge difference:

1. Choose your struggle

Life won’t ever be problem-free; the person you loved and married is the one you’re fighting with, the job of your dreams is the job you’re constantly stressing over. The goal isn’t to have a problem-free life, but rather to choose your problems. If you want an amazing relationship, you’ll have to be ready to go through the tough conversations and the work on yourself and on the relationship to keep the flame alive. If you want your dream career, you’ll have to go through the long hours of work… it’s not hard to fall in love with the result but what’s hard is to fall in love with the process. Happiness and long-term fulfillment come from hard work and commitment.

2. Acknowledge your flaws

They always tell us to think highly about ourselves, but the truth is thinking high about yourself doesn’t serve you any good unless you have a reason to feel good about yourself and that flaw and failures are essentials to help you become strong-minded and successful. In fact, people who are thinking high about themselves with no reason are often too self-centered, thinking about themselves, that they become delusional.

The real measurement of self-worth is how a person thinks about his negative experiences. By acknowledging your flaws, you set up the first step to act upon them and solve your problems.

3. Expect less from yourself

With the technology of nowadays and the abundance of information, TV channels, social media profiles… one needs to be extreme, whether it was in a good or in a bad way, in order to stand out from the crowd and receive the publicity. And those people who succeeded repeatedly are telling you that you too can be extraordinary. They’re messing with people’s expectations for themselves making them feel worse about themselves and insecure. The truth is no one is extraordinary in everything if in anything at all and that people who become extraordinary at something, understand that they’re average and normal and that they could do much better. They don’t expect greatness from themselves, they enjoy the basic things in life: helping someone, spending time with the people they love, reading a good book… and those things are what actually matters.

4. Choose your cause

If life is full of problems and suffering is inevitable, then at least one should choose a good cause for his suffering. The question isn’t “how do I stop this suffering?” but rather “For what purpose am I suffering?”. That cause is what will make life endurable and even a little bit desirable. So, choose a good cause because humans often make the mistake of living for a seemingly destructible cause that they might regret years later.

5. Change your problems by changing your values

Our values determine how we measure failure or success. One could decide that he’s only successful when he’s the most popular in his field until then he’ll always see himself as a failure and be depressed over it. While someone else might decide that he’s successful when he has enough money to take care of his family and send his children to good schools. Now, this person might not become the most successful in his field, yet he’s leading a happy life because according to his metrics he’s successful.

6. Let Pleasure be a by-product, not a priority

Pleasure is easy to obtain and easy to lose. The thing about pleasure is that it makes you feel good for an instance only to leave you with more misery than you started off with. It simply won’t solve your problems.

Pleasure is essential in life, it’s our escape but in a certain dose and definitely, it shouldn’t be our priority. Pleasure is not the cause of happiness but the effect.

7. Don’t measure success based on how much money you make

Once you have all the basic physical needs (shelter, food, clothing..) extra thousands of dollars a year won’t have that big of an effect on your happiness. For that, money shouldn’t be prioritized over other much important values for your happiness.

8. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes

Some people have to always be right, they can’t accept that they might make mistakes. Our brains are limited. But we improve when we make mistakes by learning from them and unless you accept that you can make mistakes you won’t learn from them.

9. Embrace your negative emotions

I know that we’re always told to stay on the positive side, but sometimes the healthiest thing to do is to admit that life is hard; things go wrong, accidents happen...

Denying negative emotions might lead to emotional dysfunction causing even deeper negative emotions. Negative emotions are feedback, by denying those emotions and staying positive, you’re avoiding signals that are telling you that there’s a problem to address.

10. Take responsibility for everything that occurs in your life, regardless of who’s at fault

Imagine being forced to run a marathon, how painful that must be for you. Now imagine running the same marathon, only this time it was your choice, how powerful that would be for you.

What makes a struggle painful or powerful is the sense that it’s something we chose and we’re responsible for. If you feel miserable in your current situation, chances are it’s because you feel like it’s out of your control and that it’s something you didn’t ask for.

“When we feel that we’re choosing our problems, we feel empowered. When we feel that our problems are being forced upon us against our will, we feel victimized and miserable.” – Mark Manson - The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

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