We all make relationship mistakes especially during the first few weeks of dating. Women often, do things that make a man become distant and lose interest before a serious relationship has a chance to develop. Below are some tips to keep him interested.
1. Don’t be too accessible.
Men quickly tire of that which is easily obtained. So don’t be too available before a serious relationship develops.
In fact, men’s brains are wired to solve problems, this is why a challenging, attractive woman, presents a man with a healthy problem that is worth solving. This will force him to find creative ways to not lose the attention of such a woman.
Being not too available, really means that you should have an exciting life of your own. A life that a man doesn’t feel like he has to save you from, but that which is going to add value to his own life. In other terms, you’re already happy in your singlehood. This communicates self-confidence and high-value.
2. Don’t be, predominantly, the first one to initiate the contact.
If you find yourself in a position where you’re usually the first to text, call or make plans, then you’re probably making him lazy. Men only value the things they’ve worked for.
Another down-side for being the initiator in the relationship, is that you won’t be able to know if he’s really into you or not. Especially when your contact initiations aren’t being reciprocated.
3. Prioritize phone calls over texting.
The method of communicating tells you a lot about a man’s level of interest. While nothing is wrong with using smartphones and texting, getting the guy to pick up the phone and call you shows a deeper level of interest. This is also a way to make sure that he isn’t a player who’s texting multiple women at the same time.
Simply inform him that you’d prefer it if he called to make plans. You can tease him by telling him that you’d love to hear his voice more often. However, if he keeps on texting instead of making the phone call, don’t waste your precious time on someone who won’t take a simple step to escalate his method of communication.
4. Don’t speak ill of your exes.
The way you’re treating other men and speaking of them, especially your exes, tells the guy you’re dating a lot. In fact, a guy who barely knows you isn’t ready yet to take your side. This is why he might start making judgments. He might wonder what is it about you that attracts players and time wasters, or worse, he might feel like a loser himself since you seem to attract these kinds of people. Either that or he might feel that your baggage is more than he can bear.
Another downside to talking about your unlucky past on the first weeks of dating is the fact that you might sound like a victim, someone who’s desperate for pity rather than taking responsibility for her own mistakes.
5. Don’t lose your self-respect for someone who’s not taking interest in you.
If the guy’s interest in you is obviously waning, don’t force him to take interest in you again. Don’t fight, nag or complain. It’ll only make you appear less dignified to him and to anyone who might learn about it. More importantly, it’ll affect your self-esteem. However difficult it might seem, you’ll never regret it, walk away and take your business elsewhere.
This is why the tactic of withdrawing from a man who’s not showing much interest in you, is the best way to know whether or not he’s worth your time. If he’s interested, he’ll start chasing you for fear of losing you. If he’s not that into you, then you have your answer.
6. Show restraint in displaying your infatuation.
Until the relationship gets serious, it would be wiser to show restraint in displaying your infatuation. As we mentioned earlier, a man values the things he had worked for, and winning your interest, is a challenge he’s willing to win. This is why, unless he makes an effort, any interest you show might not have a positive effect on him you’re aiming for.
An important key to seduction success is reaching a mutual level of interest before displaying your infatuation. You’ll know that a guy is as interest in you as you are in him from his enthusiasm when he’s with you, how eager he is to spend time with you and how initiative he is when it comes to making contact.
7. Be willing to show your vulnerability.
If a man proves to you that he’s invested enough in this relationship, don’t hesitate to show your vulnerability. Baring your soul, when the time is right, will help develop a deep emotional connection with the guy you’re dating. This gives a room for the man to protect, defend and love you. It’ll encourage him to show you his vulnerable side too.
8. Don’t confuse a great guy with the right guy.
A guy might be an irresistible catch and yet he might not be ready or willing to give you the commitment you want. The right man, won’t just possess the qualities you find attractive, he’s also on the same page as you when it comes to commitment and taking things to the next level. In other words, if a guy is telling you he’s not looking for anything serious, believe him. More importantly, don’t delude yourself into believing that he’ll change his mind once he gets to know you or builds interest in you.
9. Do not date a married man.
No matter how desirable the guy is, never date a married man. It doesn’t matter if he loves you more than he loves his wife. The legal issues and the living logistics surrounding his marriage gives him a strong excuse to keep you on the side indefinitely until you realize that you’re wasting your time and that he’ll never get a divorce. And even if he did, there will even more issues to deal with.
10. Date with a clear purpose in mind
If you want to avoid dead-end relationships, ensure that you know what you want and resolve not to settle for anything less from a man. Make a list of qualities you want in a man and place it somewhere you can refer to it regularly. You’ll find it much easier to enforce your boundaries and stop wasting your time on men who have little to no long-term potential.
Keep in mind that merely wanting a boyfriend isn’t an effective strategy if you’re looking for a long-term commitment.
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