These are some anonymous letters, from letterstocrushes.com because we need to express our feelings yet, the fear of rejection always seem to get in the way, for that people like to share these letters anonymously, Just for now. I truly believe that someday, you'll find someone with whom you can share all your feelings without fearing being judged or rejected:
1- It's been almost two years. I have a boyfriend and you have a girlfriend.
I had a dream last night, you were sitting by my bedside. You whispered in my ear while I slept, "Do you still love me?" I started crying and whispered, "Yes."
I woke up alone with tears in my eyes. Can't you just let me be?
2- I don't think i will ever stop searching for your face in a crowd.
3- You know when you meet that person that simply by looking them in the eyes you feel immediately connected? Not by the way they look nor by how attractive they are but because you can deeply connect to who they are as a person and what they've been trough.
All that, just by looking at their eyes.
4- “You do?”
“I don’t know why you’re surprised. You practically live here.”
“I know...it’s just. Will you say it again?”
“I love you.”
“One more time.”
“I love you.”
5- me: I'm totally over her
me: yeah I don't even know why I liked her in the first place
me: she's gonna be be just another face in the crowd
me: my feelings for her are totally under control
her: walks by and smiles
me: FORGET EVERYTHING I JUST SAID SHE IS PERFECT
6- Me: *stops thinking about him for awhile* Wow, maybe I'm starting to get over him!
My Brain: hey remember that time he laughed at that dumb joke of yours??? Or the time he accidentally brushed past you? Or that time—
Me: OKAY I GET IT I'M NOT OVER HIM
7- When you look at me, and see that I am helplessly in love with this girl I cannot have, and you tell me "Oh, don't worry. There is someone out there dying to meet someone like you!" or "One day you'll meet the girl you really deserve and you'll realize this wasn't the one." or the more frequent "You're a wonderful guy, who deserves a wonderful girl, and I promise you she will come to you one day!"
You're not helping.
You see, it's not that I'm hopelessly looking for someone to love. It's not that I am hoping to find "that someone" one day. It's not that I want "someone to love me" and it's not that I want "a girlfriend."
It's that I want "HER."
I don't want "someone," I want her.
I don't want "a girl," I want THAT girl.
I don't want someone better. I want her.
oh dear God, I'm crying again
8- Life is not dinner and movies. Life is not dates lit by candles. Life is not made of you and I away from all our problems. Life is not polished perfect.
Life is laundry and dishes and groceries and cooking. Life is reading together on the couch, not saying anything. Life is made of getting gas and running errands and paying bills. Life is watching the sunrise, finding the calm before a busy day. Life is quick kisses on our way out the door. Life is families. Life is hectic and crazy and tiring. Life is not perfect. Life is mistakes and I'm sorries and I forgive yous. Life is finding empty mugs strewn all over the house. Life is biting back the infuriating comment. Life is studying and working and crashing at the end of the day. Life is dusting the living room and vacuuming the floors. Life is laundry and dishes again, because those never end. Life is imperfect people loving each other.
And my dear, I want to do life with you.
9- We're scared of rejection so we don't give affection so we don't get affection so we stay scared of rejection so we never give affection so we never get affection so we stay scared of rejection so
we never get anywhere.
10- Benefits to sitting behind you in class:
I can look at you without you noticing
I can see when you causally look over your shoulder at me
You think you're so subtle and that I don't notice
But you're wrong and it's adorable
11- I imagined so many times what it would be like to have a reciprocated crush. Sometimes I would picture my crush asking me out. They would get flustered, I would kiss them. Or else they would just come up to me with nervous confidence and say, "There's something you have to know. I've had a crush on you ever since I met you." Or we would be at a party, and we would get drunk and start talking about our love lives, and I would say "I know it's super dumb, but I've had the BIGGEST crush on you for a while," and he would say "YOU'RE SHITTING ME. I have a crush on YOU!" Or else there would be a random, nameless guy. We hit it off at a party. I notice the tall, handsome stranger sitting in the back of my class, and we're paired up for a group project, where we hit it off. I see you in the student center every day, and one day you ask for my number.
Here are some truths about what happens when it happens for real (based on the sudden, unexpected things that have happened to me recently):
It's not what you expect.
It's not who you expect.
It won't happen in any of the ways you imagined it.
It won't feel like you imagined it.
They won't be shiny and perfect like the people you made up.
This includes all the crushes you idealized.
They will have flaws.
The flaws won't be the flaws you imagined.
You might not immediately know how to deal with some of them, but you will want to figure it out.
And you will figure it out, and you will be happy that you did.
They will feel right.
They will make you feel good about yourself.
You'll be happier, even when you're not with them.
Being with them will be comfortable.
It will be fun.
It will make your heart race.
It will sometimes feel risky...
...But you will feel safe.
They will feel like home.
It's nothing like what you expect.
It's really happening
12- "Into you" is such a trite way of putting it.
"Falling for you" insinuates that it wasn't a choice.
"Crushing on you" is not enough.
"Like you" is too simplistic and vague.
"Interested in you" is too philosophical.
"Lusting after you" is too physical.
"Smitten by you" is too literary.
I guess "In love with you" is the only one left...
Finally this one wormed my heart the most, I don’t know who wrote it, but I can only relate to it as many people, I believe:
13- When I was young – 19 or 20 years old, just a kid, really – I liked this boy named Dave. We volunteered at the same place and he just seemed really lovely. I’d never had a real boyfriend before and I didn’t know what it would be like, but I thought having someone like Dave as my boyfriend would be so nice.
We spent our Saturday mornings tutoring Sudanese refugees and when it was over we would stand around with the other volunteers having lunch and chatting. Dave was so sweet and funny. Sometimes the two of us would wander off away from the group and talk about how we were both studying history at university, or compare stories about our ridiculous siblings.
One day I got there early and I was helping to set up. I was standing in front of the big stationery cupboard with my back to the room when Dave came up behind me and gently squeezed my shoulder to say hello. I spun around and blushed when I saw him. He’d never touched me before; I’d never touched him.
And we both just smiled at each other for far too long.
I couldn’t stop thinking about the touch all week, and every time I did my heart would feel like it was expanding out of my chest. Just one brush of his hand and I was a giddy mess. It seems funny to think that I hadn’t realised I’d liked him before that, and even when I did I didn’t know what to do about it. But that one touch… I barely needed anything more than that to be happy forever.
He asked me out not long after. It was subtle and I wasn’t even sure it was a date (a date! I’d never been on a proper date before) but let me tell you, I didn’t sleep for the five days leading up to it. I could barely eat. It was so utterly, wholly amazing, the thought of sitting next to him at a play, eating dinner with him, walking down the street with him… I couldn’t conceive of such excitement and pleasure. He kissed me that night and though I’d kissed people before and even had sex, nothing in my whole life had compared to the way my stomach and heart felt following that kiss. It was as if a future of pure joy had opened up in front of me and all I could see before was unknown but certain happiness.
Dave and I fell in love. We went out for a few years and even moved to Kenya together to volunteer when we finished uni. It was all meant to be so perfect. And maybe it was, in its own way. Maybe it was all it was ever meant to be. Feelings faded and I began to question not what it had been, but what it could be. This was years ago now and I don’t talk to Dave much anymore. He’s going to have a baby in the next few months and I’m with someone much more suited to my older self who continues to make me deliriously happy in a way I stopped feeling with Dave. But I can never forget how it felt back then, that time he touched my shoulder, or the first time we ever kissed.
There is something so pure and untouchable about the first time you fall in love. It might not even be the time you fall hardest, or the time you are happiest, but it is unlike anything else. I know a lot of people on this site are younger than I am and going through this now. Even though I am so happy now and so sure of my relationship, I still sometimes think I would give anything to be back there again, going through this all for the first time.