“Embarrassed and a bit humiliated, that’s how I felt, and disappointed. We made so much sense together. We were comfortable. I had constructed the entire scenario in my head of how our relationship would grow and progress. I felt stupid for ever thinking those things. His heart belonged to someone else.” Ruta Sepetys

We’ve all been there. Someone captures your attention and your heart skips a beat. “It’s love at first sight”. However, oftentimes, we don’t have our feelings reciprocated. We feel stuck and in a state of denial. Is he going to change his mind? Is he worth it? or shall I move on to something else?
The decision of moving on should only come from you, no one can make it for you. But in case you decided it’s best if you forgot about your crush and moved on, here are some simple steps to get over your crush and move on with your life:


1. Grieve and give yourself some closure.

Until you grieve your loss properly, you won’t be able to move on for good.

• Embrace your heartache.

Admit that you had a crush, that your feelings won’t be reciprocated and that it’s time to get over it. This will help you come to terms with it faster and unstuck yourself. Denial won’t help you get better.


• Give it some time.

Although this is isn’t like breaking up, it still can be as painful. No one likes the feeling of rejection. But keep in mind that nothing remains the same. The pain shall go away eventually. No matter how heavy your heart feels right now, you’ll feel better bit by bit.

• Let it out.

Writing down your thoughts and feelings will help you think more rationally and make things simpler for you to deal with. It’ll also help you stop your racing thoughts.

However, if you don’t feel comfortable writing them down, try reaching out for a supportive friend, if you don’t think you have someone you can trust, try 7cups of tea. It's an online chat with thousands of volunteer listeners stepping up to lend a friendly ear.


2. Keep your distance.

Nothing can heal a broken heart like time and distance. And while time is passing anyway, you need to keep a distance from your crush.


• Stop stalking them online.

The online world has made it so easy to approach someone, to stalk them and to drool over them. Avoid checking their social media profiles and pictures. If you find it hard to resist, try unsubscribing from their feed or blocking them altogether.


• Reduce or totally remove real-world interactions.

This should be easier than removing the online world interactions. Unless you are best friends, you can always avoid them or pretend that they don’t exist. Choose to sit far from them, don't attend parties they’re attending… You can shift your focus through spending more time with friends. Having friends around is a great distraction, but also a great source of support.

3. Be realistic.

Take a moment to think about it in a rational way.

• Start seeing them for who they are.

Through loving eyes, you can see the imperfect, perfect. The truth is, we’re all full of flaws, and so is your crush. Start seeing their flaws and their bad habits. Maybe you didn’t miss out on someone’s great after all.


• Don’t think less of yourself.

Being rejected doesn’t make you any less of a person. Love isn’t statistics, it’s chemistry. If he didn’t reciprocate your feelings, then maybe you weren’t his type. After all, no one wants to be with someone who doesn’t like them or feel attracted to them. Also, consider that he might be dating someone or having a crush on someone else.


• You’re not alone.

Again, we’ve all been there. This is happening every day. You shouldn’t feel ashamed of it. You must know of a friend who has been rejected before and is now in a relationship with the love of their lives. Even you might have been, or might find in a position where you had to turn someone down because you didn’t reciprocate their feelings.



4. Distract yourself

If keeping your own life, friends, and activities is encouraged in general, it’s even more important when you’re getting over a crush and trying to move on with your life.


• Spend time with your friends. 

Having friends is important to have the support you need, but also to keep you happy and independent.


• Have lots of activities. 

These activities will make sure that not every happiness in your life depends upon your crush.



5. Learn your lesson.

• Start loving yourself.

The feeling of being rejected is especially hard when someone has little self-esteem and isn’t able to love themselves. We tend to look for things in the wrong places, and self-love is no exception. Some people believe that because they couldn’t love themselves, someone can do it for them. They constantly need to be assured that they’re loved and are worthy. Getting over a crush is a great opportunity for you to start working on yourself and learn how to love yourself.

Related: 24 Self-Love Affirmations to Start Loving Yourself And Your Life


• Don’t start looking for someone else right away.

It is important to give it some time before looking for someone else. And although this isn’t something we have control over, still, you hadn’t gotten so deep in your infatuation until you allowed yourself to invest time and energy fantasizing and encouraging any similar thoughts. This time, make sure you don’t drool over the first one who flirts with you. Often times, when you start looking for someone else, you end up comparing the new person with your crush, and since your crush’s image, in your head, is still embellished by your fantasies, you won’t be able to see anyone on him.

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