It might be hard at times to feel great about yourself, but accepting yourself has nothing to do with feeling good or not about yourself. We all need to accept ourselves, it’s unavoidable. When in a relationship, even if you’re with someone who’s accepting you, unless you accept yourself, things won’t work out. You’ll be constantly looking for his approval to make you feel worthy, when he’s no machine, he has his moods too, he can’t make you feel worthy all the time or say I love you all the time, and that doesn’t have anything to do with you, but with them being through some hard day. When you accept yourself, nothing that might happen can make you feel less of a person. Below are some simple ways for you to learn how to accept yourself and feel whole:
1- Comparing isn’t fair:
We all seem to compare ourselves to others every now and then, it’s a normal thing. Comparing can be a good motivation to keep going and inspire you to do better, until you become obsessed about it, comparing yourself to everyone and then thinking less of yourself, right then comparing becomes a curse. When you hear about someone else’s success, whether he was someone you know or someone who’s your age or younger and who had achieved more than you, or that’s how you think, you might tend most to compare yourself to others and feel less of yourself, someone else’s success becomes a bad news for you even if it’s a good news for him. Well, the truth behind all these appearances is that you’re not seeing the whole picture, you’re just seeing the success or the achievement someone else made, you don’t know what they had to sacrifice for their success. A woman can make a huge success that any other woman would envy, only if she knew that the woman had been living a separate life from her husband for many years to make her success. As for those who are younger than you but achieved what you didn’t, achievements doesn’t have a timeline, many couples fell in love for the first time at the Old Age Home! Make comparison a motivation, be grateful for the life you’re living and don’t wish you were in someone else’s shoe, you won’t like life any better if you were in his shoe because no matter how tempting his life might seem from the outside, the problems that you’ll have to endure if you were at his place won’t please you at all.
2- It’s important to be different:
We live in a society, thus we like to feel like we belong to some people and to some place, we want feel approved of and accepted, nothing is wrong with wanting that until you start to think less of yourself when you can’t feel accepted from those around you. If you’re different, people will instinctively reject you, it’s nothing personal, it’s just that in our nature we reject anything that is different. And different here isn’t bad, it’s good. The more different you are, the more special you become. You shouldn’t let others approval be a priority or let their opinion make you think less of yourself. As for the need to feel like you belong to some people, know that you’re never alone, somewhere, some people share the same dreams as yours. If you can’t meet those people in real life, you can always meet them in social media. It’s always great to know that you’re not alone, that what you do, what you think about is normal and that being different is normal.
3- You deserve to be loved:
They say, “You’re nobody until somebody loves you”, well I say, you’re already somebody whether someone else loved you or not. Some people would hole themselves from knowing anyone until they become perfect or at least until they meet some standards they set for themselves, like saying “I won’t know someone until I lose some weight, or have a better job… In the meanwhile, millions of people are falling in love with each other even though neither of the lovers is perfect or worked themselves hard to meet any kind of standard. You definitely don’t want someone falling in love for your qualities, true love isn’t to love someone’s qualities, but to love his imperfections and to love him for who he is! And you deserve true love.
Many relationships fails because people get involved in a relationship to seek acceptance from their partner, thus they demand a lot of attention and care, which is essential but in a healthy way but to demand attention from your partner just because you need to feel accepted, can’t be healthy at all.
4- Get over regrets:
We all made mistakes, and we’ll keep doing them as long as we’re living. Those mistakes can be a blessing if we turned them into lessons, but it can also become a curse if we turned them into regrets. Regrets are not only useless but also a prison you can get trapped in. As when for example, you hear about someone you have studied with back at school and who become a millionaire businessman today while you’re only a teacher and you say “If only I studied business like he did, I could’ve been rich like him”. Well, you’re not seeing the whole picture, you’ve become a teacher because you like it, you could’ve not liked business if you decided to become a businessman, and then what’s the use of being rich if you hated your job, also you don’t know for sure that you will be rich have you become a businessman, not every businessman is rich! And maybe teaching is the best thing for you, and you would have denied yourself all the good you can get, have you decided to be a businessman. For everything that happens to you, always consider that you don’t know the whole story, if something bad happened to you, you don’t know what good can come from it, like when you lose a job, only to find a better one. And also if something good happened to you, don’t assume that it’s fortunate, you don’t know the bad that might follow, like someone who had married someone he loves only to live unhappy with her.
5- See the good about you:
You don’t have to be all sorts of virtues at ones, for instance, confidence is a great thing to have, but the question isn’t whether it’s good or not, but whether you need it or not! For example, I’m not a talkative person, people might remark, but honestly, even if they thought that one should be normal, I don’t feel like I need to be a talkative person even if I might admire it in other people. So it’s okay for me not to be, on the other hand, I have other virtues. Everyone has some things special, some things he's most good at, better than most people around him. Consider those things and make the most out of it.