I used to think that a partner is someone who's supposed to be always with me, to share everything with me. I was willing to share it all with my partner, but he was not willing to. He simply had a life to live, a life that didn't turn around me, while my own did turn around him. Therefore I was left alone with no friends, having nothing interesting to do while he wasn't around.
I regret letting my ex make me feel less of myself, make me feel like I didn't matter and that my life didn't matter just because it didn't match his standards. I regret believing him! I thought that only with him that my life can have a bit of importance.
But now, I believe that the only thing that can make me less is being attached to someone else. I actually can make my life a wonderful story to be told, and I aspire to inspire others and leave footprints on the sand of time.
More than ever before, I truly realize how important to have friends, to go out with them, to work on your passion, to live your own life, without waiting for someone else to do anything for you, without expecting your partner to make you happy.
For a while I've been wondering if what I've been living for three years being in a relationship was a lie or not, if what I've lived for was an illusion, but then as I was recalling all those sweet moments I lived, all those sweet feelings I felt, it certainly can't be a lie. Life can be fake, as much as it can be real, you cry from nothing, you laugh from nothing... Life looks exactly like the one in your head, but for this right moment, I know that what I think, what I feel is the only truth.
those sweet moments as much as I enjoyed it, I don't wish it comes back, it won't, I'm different, the person I've been with is different. I don't miss him, I just miss these moments, and right now, these moments is a part of me, is something that has nothing to do with him, it's only about me! No regrets, only hunger for experiencing more, experiencing everything that can be experienced while we're breathing, happy that I lived, that I brought life into my days! Because breaking up and walking alone for while, get me to find myself again!
Trying to protect myself from experiencing any more painful moments, from people who lied to me, who betrayed me, those exes who treated me bad and hurt me, and the result was that I got even closer on myself, and I started to have more distance from everyone out there, but I know that I get depressed when I don't have a company, someone I can trust and tell him everything, for that I must dare to trust and love, there are good and bad people everywhere, running into many rude people, doesn't mean that there are no good-hearted ones!