I'm missing him, not the one I know now, but the one I first met, the one who used to wait for me in the rain, who used to blame me hard when I don't call often, the one who used to tell me "I love you" hundred times in a row, the one who used to call me every night until he falls asleep on the phone, that's the one I loved, the one I'm still crying over!
"It was not strength that enabled me to tell him to leave, it was not because I didn't want him or love him, and it was certainly not because I believed that I deserved better. There was simply no way I could fit his sentence and the sentiment it expressed into the fantasy I had been drenched in for two years". Below are things no one ever tells you about surviving a breakup:
1- You'll grieve :
It's the fear that something beautiful might not happen twice, the unpredictable future. You might hear all those famous sayings that you deserve better, and that the one will come along some day and make you forget all the hurting you've been through, that you need to keep faith and look at the bright side... Easy said than done, isn't it?
Well, let it be, grieve and feel all the things you have to feel, but know that things will get better, maybe not right away, but you won't always feel like this. Give it time!
Scientifically to get fully over someone you've truly loved you'll need 102 days, in the meanwhile, keep your distance and enjoy being single, don't jump into another relationship until you've fully come over your ex.
2- You can't stay friends:
That is if you loved truly, for the fact that you can't over someone who's around you all the time. For that you'll have to keep your distance, throw anything that can remind you of him and stop stalking on his social media accounts. You won't find support in talking to him or spending time together, it would only make things even more difficult.
3- He might blame you or judge you, but don't believe it:
In moments of anger and hurting, he might try to judge you and make you feel less of yourself, he who knew you better than anyone else, it would be easy to believe him, but you got to know that it's not real, he'll say it out of anger, to try to make you feel unworthy and unloved, so he'll not be the one to pity because he's losing you. The words might hurt, but don't let them define you, you worth more than having him in your life.
4- Things will change, but that doesn't mean for the worse:
We all have this fear of change, but once it happen, and you feel uncomfortable about it, you can either adapt and get excited for the good it might bring, or you can just sit and complain.
To be realistic, you'll feel alone, especially at night, you'll go to sleep and you won't think of someone you love, it feels... different, since you used to think of your ex most of your day and you used to actually enjoy it. Now you might feel like anything else isn't worth thinking about, but at the same time, you'll trade these thoughts for your peace of mind, you won't have to worry anymore, you just have to think about yourself and get excited about the things you want to do. At some point, you might remember the problems and the stressing the relationship got you through and you'll feel grateful that you no more have to go through all of that.
The point is, nothing is perfect, and you can't compare the two situations, no matter what your status is right now, make out the most of it.
5- You'll see how amazing it is to be single:
Bit by bit, you'll try to adapt and you'll strat to enjoy your own company, do the things you love and plan for the future you want. Being single doesn't mean being alone, in fact, often we feel alone in a relationship because we lean on our partner's company, even though we know that he can't be around all the time. Yet when you're single you'll learn to enjoy your own company and you'll actually start having fun being alone and doing the things you love, having all the time you want for yourself, staying up the night without having a partner asking you what you're doing and without worrying what he's doing, it's just you!
6- You'll have to forgive if you want to forget:
You might get too hurt, too angry to be able to forgive him, the one who hurt you, but just know that holding grudges and hating would only do you harm, it's like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. You can do that or you can simply move on and be better than him by forgiving without waiting for any apologies, bring some peace into your life and move on to something else.
For every hard time, there's an overcoming. No matter how much it takes, everything is possible, even after a heartbreak, you still can mend the wounds and move on, and fall even deeper in love, give it time if that's what it takes. As long as your heart beats, every beat is a new chance.