Breakups might sound terrifying, especially when you're deeply in love. Love is a precious feeling, we don't get to love everyday. But sometimes holding on, do us more damage than letting go does. It starts with a beautiful dreams and promises, but sometimes things go wrong, we get to a point where there's no use to keep holding on anymore and it would be best if we just move on with our lives. The thing doesn't just end when we break up, there's a lot more to it afterward and below are some things you should never do during a breakup:
1- Checking his social medias:
It might be tempting to see how he's doing after a break up, sometimes we hope that they're not happy without us, sometimes we like to see them needing us, and other times we just get curious to see if his life had changed from the one we knew well before or if he, did change! It won't hurt to check on him for a minute, will it!
No matter how hard we knew that we shouldn't keep peeking at him and that we should give it some time till we move on, yet, we still can find thousands of excuses just to peek at his facebook account or Instagram.
How do you expect to forget someone while you're checking on him every day! You deserve happiness, you deserve to be set free again, don't let some excuses take away your peace of mind.
2- Dwelling on the idea of getting back together:
When we miss someone, we just miss some moments we lived with him, and we think that as long we're with this one, we can live more of those moments! Therefore the idea of getting back together can get really tempting, especially when you've just broken up and still feeling empty!
In fact, you can always get back to that person, but never to those moments. When it comes to a point where ain't nothing else to do but to break up, you can't live those moments anymore. As much as promising the change might sound, you can never expect it. I spend three years with someone who was promising me he would change from the very first day I met him, it sounded real good, and I was wiling to help him do it, but he never changed, he is just the same guy I first met three years ago.
We might improve in some things, but never really change, not in the way you think he can, we don't just wake up the next day a brand new person. I'm not saying that change is an illusion, but at least don't expect it from someone else!
3- Staying friends:
I was in a relationship where I wanted to stay friends after a breakup, and I was in another one, where I no more want to hear or know anything about him! The difference is that I didn't love the first one, but I loved deeply the other one. If after a breakup he asked to be stay friends, then be sure that he didn't love you, at least not that deep, or maybe just the depth of a friendship!
4- Keeping things that might remind you of him:
No matter how precious those things once were, getting ride of them won't be a loss, it will actually bring peace into your life.
You can't just be in a place where everything around reminds you of him and expect to forget him and move on with your life!
5- Jumping into another relationship:
It's an awful mistake! When I broke up after a long love story, I got into another relationship the very next day. Maybe I wouldn't accept to stay single after being in a relationship for a long time and believing that no matter what, to be in a relationship is always better than being alone! What happened is that I started comparing him to my ex, thought each one of them was different, I would still prefer my ex and I would think about how my ex used to do me that, say to me that and be like that with me! I ended up not loving my new partner and wanting bad to get back to my ex!
Scientifically we need more than three months to move on after a breakup. I ended up giving it some time and while I was being single, I found out that I'm better off without my ex. I was happy again, I got to sleep better, to do the things I love and cherish my relationships with my friends.
6- Thinking that you won't find someone who's better:
We often refuse to let go just because we fear that something beautiful won't happen twice! But in a relationship, if he was something beautiful he would have stayed.
It isn't about the person, but it's about the way he makes you feel. You don't date a beautiful person just to make a statue of him, we date because we want to feel some kind of way. If he made you sad and miserable, then he can't be a beautiful person. Actually, anyone else can be better than him if they can make you happy and make you feel loved. Someone who made you sad isn't someone worth keeping.