Happiness and self-esteem don't require a sort of magic, or a medicine... It's an attitude, something that comes from within you, and below are some things you need to stop caring about in order to be happy:
1- Looking for the right place to live in and the right people to live with:
Ain't nothing in this world that is perfect. Every place has its good side and bad side, and so for people, ain't no good people and bad people, there's good and bad in each one of us, sometimes we show the good and other times especially on those times we control ourselves less, we might show the bad side! No one is flawless.
Often it's about you, you make your life in the place you are and with the people surrounding you, a good life or a bad one. It's a matter of attitude. No matter what you think, the first step to finding happiness is to be okay with where you are and with the people you're surrounded with, see the good in it. I'm not saying not to dream about going out of that place or meeting new people, but until you can don't make yourself miserable!
2- Your insecurities:
You got to understand that the world isn't concentrated on you. Just like you have your own insecurities, others also have theirs! While sometimes you get too self-conscious about how you look like, they also might be self-conscious about their looks. The thing is to understand that it's normal to feel insecure sometimes, don't let it frustrate you.
The other thing is to understand that insecurities are imaginary things, it can't be a real problem or a sort of illness to be cured, and it's useless to give it a piece of mind. I myself can't remember any good or bad have done to me someone else's opinion in me so why we give others opinion in us that much of importance, why do we care to impress people we don't know.
The key is to hold on what does matter the most. When you're experiencing something new, don't get overwhelmed with the idea that you won't be good enough, rather consider the new experience you'll have, the lessons you'll learn...
3- Setting conditions to your happiness:
We often believe that we won't get happy until we get the things we need, or might I say, the things we "think" we need! Because we don't really need anything else to be happy. I used to think that I need a car, a partner, a job... to be happy, and that made me not only unhappy, but also complaining each day because I didn't have these things. Then I had them. But I never got happy! Rather they left me empty and even miserable.
We buy and we get empty, then we buy more to fill this emptiness, but it never gets filled. It took me a long time to realize that I didn't need anything else to be happy. You don't need money to live a happy life, not the much you think you need at least. The best places I went to were free ones. What's better than a day on beach, or a walk in nature!
4- Fulfilling your desires:
To have your desires fulfilled is a great thing. But how about that it won't get fulfilled unless you deprive yourself of it! It might sound ironic, but it's a fact. For example, the more you eat junk food, the more you'll want it, and when you get used not to eat it, you won't feel like you need it at all. So it goes for smoking, drugs, shopping... You don't really need it and only when you tell yourself that you're fine without it, that you won't feel the need! To deprive yourself is a practicing to better control it because when we feel out of control, we get overwhelmed, we feel guilty...
5- Looking for the flaws of your current situation:
Whether it was about a relationship, a job... every situation had its good side and bad side. Ain't no perfect situation to live by. If you only consider the bad side, then you'll never have the chance to enjoy your present moment, and you'll be deciding for yourself to be unhappy!
For example, to be single doesn't mean to be lonely, many are in a relationship and never been any lonelier before! To be single is an opportunity to know yourself better, to find it actually, and to learn a lot that you might not be able to learn in a relationship. I myself if I had known that I'll be this happy alone, I would have broken up sooner! The point is that whether you're alone or in a relationship, both can be good if you only decide to see the good about it.
Decide to be happy and look for the bright side in anything and everything!
6- Not considering gratitude:
I know that it's hard to believe in something that is not material. Feelings can be fake as it can be real too, but once you give gratitude a full chance you'll see the change it brings into your life. Many say that happiness is gratitude! to be grateful means to not complain since you'll feel full and satisfied, and without all the negative thoughts, what would be left than happiness and peace of mind!