Our parents are the most important people in out life, or that's how they're supposed to be, because we got used to the idea of parents taking care of their children and providing for them as much as they can until it become an obligation, they brought us to this life, so they have to take our responsibility. This might sound logic, but you still have to know that they don't owe you anything and anything they're doing for you is something you should be thankful for.
Things you should know:
1- The life you're living is not their fault:
No one is responsible for the circumstances you're living in, but you. You choose your life through the little choices you make every day. Your parents don't owe you anything, and no one actulally does owe you anything, all that you want, you have to do it yourself, and any kind of help your getting, isn't a full right for you, it's a gift you should be thankful for, so don't take your parnets' support for granted and show gratitude.
And whining and complaining about your life is useless, because no one can change it for you unless you change it yourself, you have the power to decide for yourself and take actions on what you want to change.
Being brought to this world is actually a gift that you should be grateful for.
2- Put yourself in their shoe:
Would you like someday to have kids, what are you willing to do for them! and would you like them to stay with you when you're old and not even able to clean yourself by yourself! to take care of you like you've been doing! We all want this and so our parents do. So put yourself in their shoe and treat them right before you'll be in their shoe and have no chance to treat them right anymore.
3- Remember, you're not perfect:
Just because your parent treated you as if you were perfect, though you were doing thousands of mistakes without them telling you, that can never give you the right to judge them when they make a mistake. Remember first the mistakes you've been doing your whole life without them even mentioning it before judging them for one mistake.
Before getting angry becuase your parent didn't do you something, or buy you something, would you first remember the thousands of things they did for you your whole life! And how do you repay their debt? by yelling and screaming at them, leaving them alone! never asking about them!
No matter how were your parents with you, the good they've done for you would be always way too much than any bad you think they've done to you. So cherish them before you'll had no chance to see them again.
So how to treat your parents right?
1- Never lose patience with them:
Each time you're tempted to lose your patience with your paretns, remember all the times they've been patient with you, you may not remember much of it now you're a grown up, but you can defenetly imagine it when you see other kids or even your kids and how demanding they can be, how trouble makers they can be, yet they get all the love and care from their parents, this is alone a debt, and how you pay them back! by losing your patience!
2- Help them as much as you can and as often as you can:
Your parents should be a priority, just like you've been a priority for them for your whole life, can you ever remember the times your parents didn't get you something you need when they can! they would always make sure that you're not missing anything, that you're safe and happy, your problems would worry them way too much than they can worry you, they would stay up the night when you're sick... Isn't it high time to give them a rest!
3- Respect them, better yet love them for who they are:
How many times your parents have told you that you're beautiful, that you're a good person and that they love you. They loved you for who you are, and now that you're a grown up, you have no right to judge them and criticize them, they deserve to be loved for who they are, if you can't, at least respect them, don't try to change them, otherwise you'll be hurting them.
4- Visit often and get them gifts:
No one wants to have kids and then never see them again when they grow up after spending their whole life rising them to be who they are now, they indeed need you, even if it's not that obvious, they just know that you might be busy with your own life, but your visits, you being around is a joy for them. And it might sound odd to buy them gifts because they used to buy you everything when you were younger, but a gift from you can make them happy just like kids get happy with their parents' gifts.
A story I liked:
BY LORD YEUNG
An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.
The Father asked his Son, “What is this?” The Son replied “It is a crow”.
After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, “What is this?” The Son said “Father, I have just now told you “It’s a crow”.
After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time, What is this?”
At this time some expression of irritation was felt in the Son’s tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff. “It’s a crow, a crow”.A little after, the Father again asked his Son the 4th time, “What is this?”
This time the Son shouted at his Father, “Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times ‘IT IS A CROW’. Are you not able to understand this?”
A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born.
On opening a page, he asked his Son to read that page.When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary :
“Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each time he asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child”. While the little child asked him 23 times “What is this”, the Father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt irritated and annoyed. So.. If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a burden, but speak to them a gracious word, be cool, obedient, humble and kind to them. Be considerate to your parents.From today say this aloud, “I want to see my parents happy forever. They have cared for me ever since I was a little child. They have always showered their selfless love on me. They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to make me a person presentable in the society today”. Say a prayer to God, “I will serve my old parents in the BEST way.
I will say all good and kind words to my dear parents, no matter how they behave.