It might be ironic how things in this life goes; you only get happy when you give out! the more you help others and make them happy, the happier you get and the more you get selfish and only care about your own benefit, the less happiness you'll feel! but that's how things are, and so if you want to be happy you need first to be open to others and give up any kind of selfishness and rudeness. Below are some ways to help you do so:
"Your job is not to judge, your job is not to figure out it someone deserves something, your job is to lift the fallen to restore the broken, and to heal the hurting."
I used to obsess about the idea of expressing myself and I would do anything to not let anything stop me from expressing, but then I had problems, especially with my loved ones, I was so rude that I hurt my boyfriend many times thinking that I was doing the right thing by expressing myself, but that's totally wrong and here's why:
The problem isn't with expressing yourself, the problem is with the way you express yourself, because it should come from the logic, from your head and not from you moods and feelings, your moods shouldn't dictate your manners. Being angry doesn't give you the right to hurt others' feelings, even if you were just expressing yourself, and it's whether you do it in calm or you shut down, yelling would only make it even worse!
1- Put yourself in others' shoes:
Before you talk, imagine how you would feel if someone said it to you! we all want to feel loved and appreciated, no one wants to be badly treated, then the same things that you want for yourself, do it for others, and what you don't want to yourself, don't do it to others. Be mindful when it comes to your words! A string of some that don't mean much to you, may stick with someone else for a lifetime. Rather you still can express yourself but in a calm way, and sometimes you don't need to be right, you just need to be kind, talk with kindness this world is already full of rudeness, before you say something to someone, always think about how you'd feel if someone told you the same thing. Some of the main reasons why we express ourselves in the wrong way is that we're too selfish that we won't care about others feelings.
2- Always try to show compassion and care:
Forget about your desire to express your moods, and try to be more open to others, listen often to them, help and support, this world is already full of negativity and you are here to be a light no matter who were the people around you, what they say and do shouldn't affect your mood or change the person you are! you don't have to react over everything they say, you don't have to respond to their judgments and critics. You have no right to control others' reaction not even to wish they would act in some specific way! you're only concerned with your own reaction and actions.
3- Stop being rude with your loved ones:
Don't let your anger blind you from seeing the things others are doing for you, even when you don't need it, the intention is what counts, be grateful, it takes nothing from you, but it can mean everything for someone else!
Before talking to people make sure that you're able, it's not that easy, it takes a lot of kindness, respect and acceptance. You need to respect people no matter what was our opinion about them, not for them but as a reflection of who we are.
"The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."
4- Give away:
Sometimes all that we're overreacting and stressing about is just this urge to acquire and own, in almost every aspect of our lives, even when it comes to people, in a relationship most of problems and drama we're creating is just because we want them to be ours, and so we try to control them.. let alone when it comes to objects and all the things we have and we're too attached to! well this isn't a healthy way to live by, yet you can let go of that urge if you only learn how to give, volunteer work would be perfect to train your soul to be less attached to things, the more you help and give the less you'll feel the urge of acquiring and owning..
When you love people enough, then you'll be able to let go of your selfishness. Understand that life purpose isn't to acquire or to have, rather it's to give, without being in need for anyone, it's giving without expecting anything in return. Be convinced that you don't really need anything, you don't need to be rich, you don't need to be pretty, you don't need.. that's how you let go of the desire of wanting everything for yourself, because we always strive to fulfill our needs, which never ends!
We can't be perfect, but we still can act as if we were perfect, make the right choices every time and strive to be always better than you were yesterday.