"Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?"
this reminds me how I'm too far to know what true love means, with all this jealousy, selfishness... No one is flawless, we're all full of insecurities and complexes. Most of time we're able to manage those insecurities, but where our partners are concerned we can't seem to have much control over ourselves. Below are some common mistakes that can drive your partner away:
1- Complaining and blaming him for everything:
No one owes you anything, not even your loved ones, you owe it to yourself to do what you want to do. Free yourself from expectations, there's nothing to be expected from anyone. Your life is your responsibility and once you get that, you'll find out that there's no one to blame for anything that might happen to you but yourself. If life is tough for you, why not to learn how to be even tougher instead of waiting support from your partner.
2- Trying to control him:
Give up controlling him, give him a space to live his own life. Having his own life doesn't mean that he will love you any less. Everyone needs to have his own life, and the less you try to control him, the happier you get. You don't need to spend every single minute together.
You might be worried about what he's doing with whom he is right now, but you should trust him and trust his love, and if he's giving you every reason to worry and think that way, then he's probably not worth keeping.
3- Judging and criticizing him:
Even if you don't like something about him, that doesn't give you the right to judge him. A good relationship should be full of acceptance and respect, to accept your partner the way he is, to accept his imperfections and most of all to respect him, respect the way he lives, respect his thoughts, dreams...
I've learned that you can't change anyone, even if you love each other, if he's not going to change by himself, then you can't do anything to change him and it's rude to ask your partner to compromise himself for you. Everyone deserves to be loved for the way he is, if you're not able to do so, then you should probably walk away and let someone else love him.
4- Hiding secrets from him:
A good relationship is all about trust and honesty, no one wants to be with someone they don't know anything about him. Anyway, you can't say you love someone truly until you know them well enough. Every relationship should be based on trust, nothing can destroy a relationship like doubts and worries.
5- Talking about your problems all the time:
There's no relationship without problems, and sometimes it's not about solving them, it's about accepting things the way they are and stop obsessing about fixing everything, you may break it while you try to fix it!!
When the two of you are deeply in love with each other, you become so irritated about almost everything about each other, and so not all of your problems would be real, most of them are exaggerated, and the best things to do here is to forget about them and to focus on the positive. The happiest relationship are those who focus on the positive in every situation.
6- Neglecting your partner needs:
In a relationship, the more the needs are satisfied the happiest the couple is, you'll have to understand your partner needs very well and to try to give it because disappointments are really hard when they come from your loved ones, those who promised to be by your side whenever you needed them.
7- Taking him for guaranteed:
When you do so, you stop appreciating him, you forget about their worth and what he used to mean to you, and so you stop caring enough about him. Show love, because when you give it out, you'll be able to love even deeper, love isn't only words, it's also deeds.
8-Talking out of anger:
When you're angry, you might say some rude things that you don't actually mean it, but it was just a sort of defending yourself. So don't let your mood dictate your manners, give yourself some time to calm down.
Always keep calm, don't get into pity arguments, get alone for a while and think of it, does it even worth it! find out what made you that angry, and what solutions can be, then discuss it with your partner once you get calmed, avoid negativity or hurting words! and avoid judgments. Never talk from a place of anger, rather speak up from a place of respect.
9- Expecting him to a copy of you:
Your partner deserves to be respected and accepted the way he is, being different is not a problem it's a diversity, but expecting to be the same that's the problem, you are different and so you adjust your relationship on that basis and you learn to live in peace with your difference! Being the same as your partner doesn't mean that you'll be happier, you still can be happy with being different, that makes it more fun.
Though you don't have to force things, if it isn't meant to be, then it's okay. Differences can complicate the relationship too much, that you won't have any time left to enjoy what's in common, some differences can't be lived with. Still, in the end, you'll have to adjust or to simply walk away.
10- Refusing his help:
Women are taught to take care of their family, and they're not really taught how to receive help or expect to receive it, but you should let your partner help you whenever he offers, it hurts when you want to help someone you love and you get rejected, it feels good to know that the one you love needs you.
11- competing with him:
We all want to be successful, but in a relationship, you're not in a competition with each other, you're there to support each other and to reach both of you, your dreams! Even if you don't share your partner's dreams, you still need to respect it, to take it seriously and to be supportive, you're not together to share the same point of view or the same dreams, you're together to support each other, even when they don't seem so excited about their dreams, if it's what they truly want then you need to help to push themselves to take actions on their dreams.
You don't mind to treat him badly, but the idea of losing him freaks you out! how ironic. We're taking them for guaranteed.
There's no relationship without problems, but what does really matter is to look for the positive and know what matters for both of you, no one is perfect, but when that person loves you and he is all that you want, then he's worth to fight for! When you love each other, both of you need to forgive, because no one is perfect!
It's not about solving problems, it's about the love, the care and the moment! it doesn't have to be perfect and you don't need to make it perfect, you just need to love, unconditionally!