I used to be shy and I used to wish not to be as if a miracle would happen, but now that I had realized that nothing will change unless I change something. You need to take action on whatever you want to do or to be!
I was shy until I had to give presentations for my studies, there I knew that I can’t run away anymore and that I need to face my problem even if it was after 20 years of complexes.
So how to get over your shyness?
I know that shyness is what holding you from socializing and that you need to stop getting shy in order to be able to socialize, but you won't conquer the fear of people until you face it. No matter what would be people's reaction, it can't do you any harm. If you're being judged or criticized often, then it would be a chance to better learn how to deal with their judgments. If you focus on what you have to say and get involved into the conversation, you'll gdistractedted from your negative thoughts.
Practice it, even if it didn't come out that good, don't hold yourself back, keep on doing it until you get used to it and that you no longer have to think or stress about it.
2- Think out loud:
It’s not a sort of madness, it’s really healthy to do so, try to think out loud, that’s so comforting and it helps to organize ideas in your mind so you’ll eliminate the negative ones and cherish the positive ones. You’ll understand yourself better and you’ll have a real conversation as if you’re talking with someone else, except that the one you’re talking to is the best one who can ever understand you and give you a chance to express yourself freely.
3- Talk in front of the mirror:
That way you’ll get used to being in front of people and you’ll get used to talking to people while looking into their eyes, it’s a great way to beat the fear of public speaking, and I use it for rehearsing my presentations.
4- Cultivate your self-esteem:
Shyness is a lack of confidence, if you're being shy, then you should probably consider that the problem isn't with your body's reaction, the fast heart beats, the blushing, sweatiness..., no, it's in your lack of confidence and self-esteem.
Have enough confidence and know your value, you're no less than the others, feel good about yourself and dress well. You're good enough, you're important and your opinion does matter, what you have to say does matter. You're special and unique, keep this in your mind and do what you want to do on your own.
5- Express yourself:
When you’re with people try to express yourself, not just stay aside and listen, that way you’ll get much comfortable to be with people and you’ll get used to having conversations.
Expressing yourself is a talent you develop with practicing, talk as much as you can. Since you're a shy person, you shouldn't worry about talking too much than necessary.
6- Understand that the world is not focused on you:
We tend to exaggerate things, but it’s really not the way it seems to be like, people aren’t really focused on you. As you have your own insecurities and as you're focusing on yourself, they also have their own insecurities and focusing on themselves. The world doesn't turn around you. So don't worry about their reaction or opinion.
7- Be patient and practice:
You might fail a lot before succeeding, but each improvement should count as a success for you. Just make sure you learn from your mistakes and do better the next time. With each experience, you'll realize that it wasn't as bad as you thought it'll turn out.
We weren’t born shy, and it’s not a matter of age to get rid of this shyness, you need to get rid of it by yourself, so change your thoughts and believe that you can!